Win a week in Tuscany!
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Why Don'T Men Get Sawn in Half
Hi interweb! My name is Kathleen but everyone calls me Kathy. I'm 9 and a half years old. Last year my mum won a holiday to a country called Italy (but they call it Italia). It's carved out in the shape of a boot :)
So basically mum and dad got married aaaages ago but they never had a honeymoon, so this holiday was sort of their honeymoon. My mum never wins ANYthing and even when I ask her if we can get a lottery ticket she says its for morons who live on dreams and that she doesn't 'do' competitions, so I don't know why she decided to do this one but Dad said she had always dreamt of going to Italy but couldn't afford it and he said that it would be an extra special holiday because most kids don't get to go on their parents' honeymoon, and if they do they probably don't go anywhere as cool as Tuscany (they call it Toscana).
As you can see I learnt how to speak Italian. I can count to ten and ask for water with bubbles and my favourite word is pomodoro, which means golden apple! Thats what they call tomatoes!
...but I will stop showing off now and tell you what happened.
We stayed in a big villa, which is like a house, but MUCH more romantic, and it had a swimming pool that just belonged to the house, so we had the whole thing to ourselves everyday, which meant not being divebombed and no people going too fast or too slow in front of you and no lockers. Ace!
We went to see mozzarella being made, we visited these really cool hot springs and one day we went to see open-air opera but my favourite times were just hanging out at the villa.
It was on a hill and every morning before we went to see the sites and every evening once we got home, we would sit outside by the pool with the house behind us and watch the birds and the bats and the weather. Most mornings there would be mist and you couldn't see the trees or the houses or anything below us!. It was like we were sitting on a cloud! Dad joked that it was our nuvola nove – cloud nine - and thats what we called it for the rest of the holiday.
One day the mist didn't come, just thick clouds and it started to rain, so we couldn't swim or go to Monterchi and get a pistachio ice cream. It was nice to hang out in the big villa anyway and Mum and dad did some reading and I did some colouring and then watched tv.
Italian tv is pretty funny! Sometimes at home there are ladies not wearing much and games with flashing lights but this was like ALL the channels and ALL the ladies. None of them spoke. Ever. The men wore suits and the women wore bikinis (even though there was no swimming pool anywhere nearby) and they smiled like idiots. I flicked the channels and found a magician doing magic. I LOVE magic. Anyway, the magician took one of the bikini ladies and put her in a box and started cutting her in half! And I said “Why don't men get cut in half? And dad said “because they're made of stronger stuff in the middle. They'd be harder to cut through. Women are all soft and gooey inside” and mum said “Say that again” and dad laughed and said it again and then mum said “so I'm soft and gooey am I!? And dad said “Not you Dearest heart, no” then mum got up and walked towards dad and he got up and started running away and mum chased him all the way outside and into the swimming pool! With all his clothes on!
Then dad pulled mum in and she was in the swimming pool with all her clothes on too! It was so so funny I had to join in so I ran and jumped in with all MY clothes on too! We were all laughing so hard and normally mum and dad wouldn't laugh at something like that, but I guess the holiday had been so relaxing, they just kept laughing and laughing until... we realised that our last euros and Dad's passport were in his pocket! It was all soaking wet!
Luckily, the holiday company helped us explain everything in Italian so we could get home! (although we didn't really want to leave). Our host Rosaldo was so kind – she even lent us some money to get a taxi and we laughed all over again when we told her what had happened!
I learnt lots of things on that holiday. Number 1, Italy is beautiful. Number 2, Italian ice cream is aMAZing. Number 3, Italian tv is rubbish, Number 4, sometimes when you're on holiday and everyone\s relaxed, just hanging out with your family is even more fun than ice cream and Number 5, I really really really want to go back.
